dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
