those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
