I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Randomize
