I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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