He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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