I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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