I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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