I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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