I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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