Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Are we still banned from the library?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
