Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Bring me that man meat
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
