I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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