It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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