whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
