I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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