even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
