i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
