Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize