Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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