My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
and you fell through a lawn chair
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
