"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize