guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It's like God shit irony all over that family
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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