I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
