i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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