no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
