I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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