Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
