I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
