Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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