I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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