She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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