I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
