I'm going to jail i love you
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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