I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It was confusing and full of hummus
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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