But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
