Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
