Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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