when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
