everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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