that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Sober January is a disaster.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
