CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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