Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
