Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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