All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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