Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
