any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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