drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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