have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
