everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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