Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
