You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize