Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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