I think my fart just growled at me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize