all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
