Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
