just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
