Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
is wine microwaveable?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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