No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Randomize
