Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
