yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We left the knife in your bed.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
