Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
