I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
