I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
