So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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