just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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