I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
