I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Randomize
