My nipple is on Facebook.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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