I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
