I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
