8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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