I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
