We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
