No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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