my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
