I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You are the jesus of drinking
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
