i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
