ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
