everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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