You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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