toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Fuck appropriateness.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize