Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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