no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
