Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
