remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
