I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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