My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
