So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
